July 2008 Archives

But to the point. So, like many, if not most, women, I have some serious issues with my boobs, both good and bad. I got to thinking that I would make a little list. At first it was going to be "good things" to, you know, empower myself. Then it was going to be bad things, just to vent. And then it was just things, good, bad and neither.

1. Finding a bra can be difficult. I am a 32DD. Do you know who else wears a 32DD? Porn stars. And people with implants. Yeah. I am neither. I am all about Fantasie bras. They are pricey but worth it.

2. Dressing the top half of my body takes a significant amount of time and thought. I remember once a friend of mine said "I love those shorts! You can just wear them with a white tank!" And I was like "Um, no. I can not go out in public in a white tank." Suffice to say, she did not understand. I've learned that it's actually better to wear tighter clothes, but fit is so important. I dread pulling button downs. I love Rebecca & Drew shirts, but sadly, I love Steve Alan shirts more. They fit-ish. The XS gaps, but the S is too big, and it gaps too. Sigh. I envy my flatter friends and their devil may care attitude to sweet strappy summer tops. 

3. Big boobs add about five pounds to your perceived weight. It's true! Wearing a properly sized bra helps with this, but still...

4. They make a really good rest for the remote control when I watch TV. I doubt my flatter friends can use their breasts as a shelf! Sometimes I'll have the remote sitting there for an hour or so before I even notice it. 

5. Babies, all babies, love me at first sight. Seriously, I look like lunch.

6. They are sexy? I guess? 

7. They are always changing. Who knows what size they'll be in the future?

 I am down for the surprise.