February 2007 Archives

Have you read about the sorority, Delta Zeta, at DePauw University in Indiana? If not, here is the full story. When I read it, it made me so angry, I cried. Yes, I cry easily, but, man, does this make me MAD!

The women at the national organization should just apologize. They keep trying to justify what they did, but their offense is so heinous and obvious, that there is really nothing they can say. That these women were not recruiting properly is a joke. If they want to increase membership, as they say, why would they get rid of the 23 people? It makes no sense.

Let me be blunt. I thought last night was pretty freaking boring. Both the telecast, and the clothes. Congress had more pizazz at the state of the union! Seriously!

Yes, there were so high points- the Jack Black/ Will Ferrell song was fun. I didn't mind Ellen- her crowd work was nice. But, boy, did that thing drag on! The pacing was very off, and just when you started to gain momentum, something would just halt the show in its tracks. The people turning into things was cool...once, but it stopped the action dead. Also, I miss having supporting actor first. It always sent a frission through the crowd to have a big award so early. Now they lump everything towards the end.

And the clothes. Mostly boring. Nothing was truly aweful (Sally Kirkland aside,) but nothing was very exciting either. So many people go strapless, it gets hard to differentiate. Here are my thoughts:

Helen Mirren some how manages to look her age and hot and sexy. I love everything about her. If she wore a garbage bag, I would just call her brave. Here she wears LaCroix. And does it well.

Cate Blanchett never disappoints. I love the black paillette flowers on the bottom.

I give Maggie Gyllenhall points for Proenza, even though I didn't love the navy on black, it grew on me.
I think her makeup won me over. And the slightly mad gleam in her eye.

Nicole Kidman looked striking, but a little too much like a gift. I know I'm not the first to say this, but please, lady, stop with the botox!

Cameron Diaz- 1985 called, it wants its dress back. And its tan.(But I really liked her afterparty coatdress ensemble!)

Naomi Watts looked lovely, but a little frumpy. That necklace is pretty awesome though.

I disliked Reese's Nina Ricci tiered gown, and I seem to be the only one. So be it. But I find those tiers kind of unflattering. Am I alone?

Anne Hathaway looks like a doll who is startled to find that she is a person too.

Gwyneth always seems a little too pleased with herself, like the cat that ate the canary. Maybe that's why I kind of love to hate her. This dress is interesting, but a little matronly in the shoulders. And what's with the hair? I like her red lips though.

This dress could have been rough- very Bill Blass 87. But I think Emily Blunt really pulls it off. She keeps it simple, and it works. And it must be fun to sparkle like that!

My personal favorite? Abigail Breslin. Perfect!

I was just flipping through the Pottery Barn catalog, dreaming about the far off day when I would be decorating my capacious third home in Santa Barbara. Pottery Barn has a partnership with Benjamin Moore now, which I think is a grand idea, where they provide the paint colors used in the magazine in little dots. I am clueless about paint and home decor. RC is the stylish one that way. Give me a pair of shoes any day.

But I digress. So there I am, looking at the swatches, Wedgewood Grey, Silver Sage, when something seemed strange. Does anyone else think that calling a color "Confederate Red" is kind of offensive? Or am I being overly PC?

Thoughts?

Every third Saturday, Rosa, my saviour, my cleaning lady comes. Efficient and punctual, she's in and out, and when RC and I get home, our apartment smells like Meyers and Murphys. I love Rosa Saturdays.

Usually, to kill time while Rosa does her good work, RC and I take ourselves out to brunch, and to a movie, and run various errands. Last Saturday we got up early, ate a lovely brunch at 9th Street Market, and went to see Breach. (Not bad, not violent, not stupid but not "The Insider") Then because RC wanted to check out a jacket, we went to Marc.

In our travels around the city, I noticed a peculiar phenomenon. The day was lovely for recently, threatening to break freezing. But there were still moldy grey hills of snow all over the street and the curb. And running around, through and over these mounds, were lots of girls in dainty high heels. There they were in the East Village, tripping over huge deep puddles. There they were on the West Side, grimacing as they negotiated a snow hill, and the snow hill won.

Here's my question? WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU TRAIPSE AROUND IN HIGH HEELS THROUGH THE WET AND THE SNOW ON A SATURDAY? I don't care how cute they are!!! You'll RUIN them!!!! And your feet will get wet! Girls!!! Some common sense please!!!!!!!! You actually look silly!!! (Saturday night, I understand, but just for shopping and walking around? Only if you are SJP or Mariah! Or have a car service trailing you!) Please go back to my earlier post about cute non -Ugg winter boots. They are probably all on sale now!

Later that evening, at a wretched bar on 9th street, I saw a girl wearing a really lovely navy and white blouse, very DVF. With white trousers. What is this? Palm Beach? Or am I just old fashioned in my adherence to the guideline of no white trousers between Labor and Memorial day?

Thoughts?

I went up to Barney's with my sister last Saturday. I had heard a rumor that if you spent $175, you got a big big big free gift with purchase, and I am that sucker. I love free beauty products more than anything. I had to buy RC his Sharp's anyway, and Barney's is one of the few reliable outlets. I also figure that between my sis and I we could easily spend that much.

Let's just say the rumors were true. We actually ended up in the Men's Department, because we were getting the shaving stuff, but you know what? It worked out better for us. They were so excited to help girls in the boys department, they gave us both the women's gift AND the men's. (RC was HAPPY!) Robin got some shampoo and conditioner, and I got the loveliest Acqua di Parma fragrance. But more on that some other time.

We couldn't wait to get home and see what goodies there were in our great new bag of treasure. We split it up, and there was Kanebo, Cle de Peau, Remede, YSL, Annick Goutal. Standouts were a large bottle of Nars Body Glow, which I already love, but never want to spend actual money on, and two full lipsticks. One is a great deep matte red by Vincent Longo, called Fore-Plush. It will be great for acting out all those Olsen Twin fashion dreams. The other was a glamourous shimmery nude, Super Nova by Chantecaille. I wore it all weekend. Did I mention I never wear lipstick? (It just gets on everything!) But I love getting it for free!!!!

I am carefully trying each product. Tomorrow I will tell you what's worth actually buying, what you should sample, and what you can give away.

My nails were looking atrocious. I have been on financial lockdown, and sadly, one of the things that had to go were regular mani/pedi's. But last week when RC said "My girlfriend used to have such nice hands and feet!" I caved. I had to!

I didn't go to my usual place. It was cold, and there is a place closer to my home that does a $22 mani/pedi special. Nice right? I thought, hmmm, if they do a good job, this could become my regular spot. I'm like a drunk going to a new bar. I'll easily be disloyal at the right price.

I knew something was off when she was working on my toes. Granted, they were in a state of vile disrepair. But it was cold out, and my feet were very tender, and OW! that cuticle pusher HURT! I kept pulling my feet out of her hands, but she would just grab them, like misbehaving fish, and slap em back down.

The manicure station is where things got really weird. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when you say "Please don't cut my cuticles. Just push," and your manicurist says "Just push?" and you nod yes, and then they proceed to SLAUGHTER your skin, cutting off every last tendril. There is nothing worse.
When she started in, I said "NO! Please! Just push!" again. And she repeated it back to me, and kept cutting. I was almost miserable.

But, there, in front of me, my nice nails were emerging. Under the table, my feet looked great. I held my tongue and let the lady do her work. We were applying the second coat when the truly odd thing happened. She mussed my left forefinger. Like any professional, she took out here nail polish remover and began removing. Then she applied the base coat. But instead of moving on, and coming back to it, she began blowing on it, in an attempt to get it to dry. And I am not talking a lady like breeze. This was a full on Big Bad Wolf huff and puff.

"PUFFFFFF" she went.
"HUFFFFF" she blew. I am not exaggerating when I say, I could smell her breath! I get the shivers just mentioning it! ICK! Like this wheezing was really going to help my varnish dry faster! I basically closed my eyes and let her finish. I knew I was very close to being done, and suddenly the bitter cold weather was a blessing. It meant my polish would dry faster, and I could get the heck out of there.

And of course my polish chipped with in a day. I have learned my lesson. Walk the extra block. It's worth it. What would you have done?

I know. You are so bored with me. All I do is talk about the weather. Or forget you are there. But don't you understand how much I need you?

I know that I was distant. I know that! I let your spiffy blue cap fall off in my purse, and I didn't notice until you were full of debris. A better woman would never have put you in that position to begin with. I get it. Don't you see I am trying to change? Now you occupy a place of glory right next to my Udderly Smooth Hand lotion, next to my bed! Don't you get that I can't survive without you? With you gone, I am nothing but a dry wisp of a woman.

My lips yearn for your soft kiss. My hands love your gently caress. Oh Rosebud Salve, don't leave me again!

Wednesday mornings mean the Dining In/Out section of the Times. I wait for it all week with baited breath. First,I read Frank Bruni's reviews, so I can see who he is lauding or tormenting this week. Then I start at the top, and work my way down (I read it online). The section is an escapest treat for me.

Today, the article about all the great cocktails in London made me really nostalgic. I lived there for a bit in the late '90's and had the time of my life. I thought back to one of my first days there. A friend of mine from school, and I, took a walk down Oxford street. It began to rain, and we took refuge in some small nondescript hotel a little west of Bloomsbury. We ordered drinks and I was astonished and tickled when my vodka and tonic water came with a tiny bottle of tonic water, which the waiter ceremoniously poured into my glass.

I thought, what drinks are fun to drink in what city, and where? Here are mine, but tell me your ideas too.

1) Gin & Tonic, Claridges Hotel, Brook Street, Mayfair, London- Ok, I know the Times said that cocktails are rocking London, but to me nothing is more English and appropriate then a G&T at a classic hotel. London hotels are pretty unparalled in their pomp and grandeur; even the crappy ones have traditional aspirations. But Claridges is not crappy. It's like stepping into a scene from Waugh, where everyone is beautiful and gay, and hiding something. And though a G&T seems clear and straightforwards, it is really a difficult matter of proportion. At Claridges they always get it right. Claridges is like my version of Holly Golightly's Tiffany's. Nothing bad can ever happen there.

2) Manhattan, Schiller's Liquor Bar, Suffolk Street, New York- No, I'm not making a pun. There is nothing better then going to Schillers at an off time, sitting at the beautiful bar there, and having a perfect Manhattan. Take a moment before your first sip. There's always a nice sheen of citrus oil glistening on the top. At once spicy, cold and warming, this drink invites you in reluctantly at first, but warms up as the night wears on.

3) Vodka Martini, Ritz Hotel, Michigan Ave, Chicago- Initially I thought about beer, but Chicago, to me, has always been a martini town. Though they are expensive, the ones at the Ritz are about the size of your head, generous, like everything in Chicago. And the at the Ritz view is always great, no matter what the weather.

4) Margarita, a friend's house, Los Angeles- Spa water was the first thing that came to mind, but that would be the easy way out. Los Angeles has a lot of lounges, with a lot of frou frou gnarly sweet drinks, that usually end up being vomited out by real, and wanna-be starlets. Forget that. Nothing can compete with hanging out at a friend's place, with a nice backyard, with someone making some real margaritas. Squeezing limes may seem like a pain, but it's worth it, to sit outside, under the perfect blue sky, with your friends. It's why you moved there!

It is SO cold out today, that I thought I would give you some of my favorite products for cold weather. (And completely ignore the fact that it is fashion week, which I will get to later this week.)

1) Udderly Smooth- Lately I have been having a problem with my hands. They are dry and chapped, and cracking. My right pointer finger in particular. I tried the Khiel's, I tried my Bliss body butter, but nothing was working. Typing became slightly painful, which made work more difficult, and who needs THAT? Then this weekend, my mother and I stopped by the hardware store near our place in deepest darkest Massachussets. At the counter they had a tub of this Udderly Smooth Udder Cream. Immediately my hands felt smooth and soft, and not greasy. I think the ingredient that really works is the lanolin. Which also makes the stuff smell a little like a barn. But it WORKS. I have been slathering it for the past three days. Did I mention it's for cows? They don't mind the barn smell.

2) Fantasy Tan at Acqua Beauty Bar- Part of the hell of winter is pasty skin. And tanning beds are BAD. Do you hear me? BAD! So when I feel glow in the dark, I like to get a little spray tan. I really want to try the booths, but I haven't had a chance. At Acqua a real person sprays me, which has benefits and negatives. This is how it works: I go into a room, and take off all my clothes, except one of those paper thong things. Then a woman comes in with a mask, and a contraption with a hose spray gun attached to it. I stand with my arms out to my side, and for about 15 minutes she takes her little spray gun and coats every nook and cranny of my body (with in reason.) If I so much as move my arms, she yells at me. Then she leaves, and I keep standing for another 10 to 15 minutes. My arms hurt, but my skin suddenly looks as though I spent the weekend chilling in Malibu. For a week I look great; sunkissed and golden. And then it's back to reality, and pastyness.

3) K-Y Touch Massage Two in One Warming Body Massage and Lubricant- Cause, baby, it's COLD outside!

Sometimes you've got to spend a little to get a little. February 8, 9, and 10th, Barney's is giving you a bag full of deluxe samples, if you spend $175 at the cosmetics counter. FUN!

Ever walk in to a party you have been looking forward to for months, only to discover it's absolutely dead? Ever think to yourself, "What this bash needs is a karaoke machine!" Well, no more. Now the party goes with you!

Right now I know you are thinking "what the fuck is she talking about?" Well, my friends, it is only the best thing since, well, the ipod.

IKaraoke!! Be the entertainment! This handy gadget docks right into any ipod, and lowers the lead vocals, while transmitting to an amplifier, headphones, or FM stations within 20 feet. Insta-party! Sing away!

Perfect for dead fashion week parties, or impressing your favorite rock star. Imagine running into Rod Stewart at a restaurant. You can show him you mad skillz by singing "Downtown Train" to him right then and there! Amazing!

I am obsessed with Anna Wintour. I just love her! I even dressed as her once for Halloween. I think I looked ok too, except that my wig made me look a little hasidic...KT has a picture somewhere.

But back to Anna. Why is she so fascinating? Because she is a woman in power? Because she doesn't really give interviews? Because of the debate that swirls around her? Is she evil or is she just shy?

I love what the debate over Anna has become of late. It used to just be said that she was mean. But now it seems a new, more complex picture is emerging. This updated portrait is of a complicated and passionate woman, who wants to serve her business, but who also believes in helping up and coming designers. There is a really great article about Anna today in The New York Times by one of my favorite fashion writers, Cathy Horyn.

The article doesn't answer any questions, but it does shine a little light on what drives the mysterious Ms Wintour. I'll share a story about her from when I worked at Conde.

There was a great young stylist, who was the only person at the magazine perhaps lower then I was. She was the fashion closet bitch. And she was passionate about clothes, fashion people, and most of all, photography. She told me this story.

Before she got her job, she had sent Ms Wintour her portfolio, not really expecting to hear anything back ever. But she did. And rather quickly. In her portfolio, Anna had cirlced things and sent her a note, telling her to continue her good work, and to stay in touch. I wish I knew what happened to the girl, but I love the fact that she wrote back! A heartless queen doesn't do that.

So think what you like about her, but I admire her.