January 2007 Archives

Here is a quote I took from an article about Dreamgirls in the New York Times yesterday: "“What is a ‘best picture?’ ” asked Rob Moore, Paramount’s president for worldwide marketing, distribution and operations. Mr. Moore noted that “Dreamgirls” found itself competing with nominees of a more typical bent toward serious drama, including “Babel,” another Paramount film; “Letters From Iwo Jima,” released by Warner Brothers Pictures, and “The Queen.”

“The category isn’t ‘most entertaining movie,’ ” Mr. Moore noted."

Huh?

If a film (a piece of entertainment) wins "Best Picture" shouldn't it be the most entertaining? What makes a picture "best" if not its ability to entertain?

The Websters Dictionary definition of "entertain" is: provide with amusement or enjoyment. Mr Moore seems to be implying that Dreamgirls was the most entertaining film of the year. Yet if Dreamgirls was, in fact, the most entertaining film of the year, shouldn't it by right, be the best picture? I've seen some great films this year, and not all of them are nominated. Children of Men wasn't exactly funny, but it was fascinating, and I was glued to my seat. The Queen was a joy; I laughed, I cried, I wanted to speak in an English accent for the rest of the evening. The Times doesn't mention "Little Miss Sunshine" but that was nominated for best picture, and happens to not only be endearing, but uproariously funny. All were entertaining.

Let's take a look at films that have won in the past:
2006- Ok, I disliked Crash. I think Brokeback was WAY more entertaining. But maybe some people, who happened to be in the academy, thought it was.

2003- LOTR 3, who can argue with any LOTR films? They are all magnificent and supremely entertaining.

2000- Gladiator. Now that's a great, entertaining film.

I think, without belaboring my point, you get it. Of course there are many many many entertaining films in a year. The Academy picks their five, and then their one, and one hopes that ones film is part of that group. But to say that "best picture" isn't about being the best entertainment is a pretty cynical statement that belies the whole notion of why the awards are given out. Which is to honor the achievement of making a great film.

Maybe "Dreamgirls" simply wasn't the most entertaining film of the year?

1) Going to Raoul's for Steak Frites

2) Dreaming about these great Miu Miu shoes, and summer. I saw them in red patent leather at Jeffrey, and haven't been able to find them since. I'll take the white, for a kind of naughty nurse look.
3) Bowling at Leisure Time in the Port of Authority
4) Washing my hair with Bumble and Bumble Creme de Coca Conditioner. It smells like the tropics!
5) Reading Fashionista.com, a new blog. I am addicted! And jealous! Well done!

Oh what a busy two weeks for a clothes horse like me! First the Golden Globes, and now the fashion show known as the State of the Union.
Here are my impromptu thoughts:

1) George W Bush (President of the United States)- I think the tradition is a navy blazer with a white or blue shirt and a red tie. But here our conservative commander in chief goes for something a little different. A rather light navy blazer with a crisp white shirt and a french blue tie with a checker pattern. Tres avant garde! It makes me think Paris (Texas)!

2) Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the House, D- Representative, California)- I am so pleased for Mrs Pelosi, but I wish she hadn't worn mint green. Period. Much less mint green on mint green. Red would have made a great strong statement, while mint is a little easter egg. Even worse, I think this might be a pantsuit! And dab that mascara! Love the lipstick though. For a similiar rosy hue try Clinique Colour Surge Lipstick in Metallic Finish Burgundy Bronze .

3) Dick Cheney (Vice President of the United States)- Quite the conservative presidential look from Mr Dick. Nice blue and red checkered tie, though it reads a little purple on TV. Wondering how the VP keeps his skin looking so smooth? Try Peter Thomas Roth Botanical Buffing Beads to get rid of dead skin cells. Follow with Skyn Iceland Stress Defense Cream With Biospheric Complex to soothe and moisturize. End with Benefit- Benefit You Rebel tinted moisturizer, for sun shielding SPF 15, and that baby's butt glow.

4) Charles Rangel (D- Representative, New York)- Mr Rangel is always dapper, and tonight is no exception. Insouciantly chic, he wears a black and white checkered suit with a white shirt and a playful navy and white polka dotted tie. He is a study in contrasts, and how to play with pattern. Rep Rangel also has some luxurious waves. Want your hair to look that glossy? Go for Frederic Fekkai's Glossing Shampoo and Conditioner. Both products contain shine boosting olive oil to keep hair healthy and strong.

5) John McCain (R-Senator Arizona)- An interesting and different look. I would say McCain is the Cate Blanchett of Congress, unafraid to speak his mind and be himself, while remaining dignified and elegant. This holds true for his taste in fashion as well. A powder blue shirt under a charcoal pinstipe blazer and a yellow tie with red dots. Very Milan 04.

6) Hilary Clinton (D- Senator New York)- Hilary has her bad moments; (those matchy-matchy pantsuits! Andre Leon Talley-get on that!) But if this is a skirt suit, I highly approve. (I haven't seen her standing yet.) A nice dusky grey blazer, fitted well, with a light pink tee underneath, for a hint of femininity. She accessorizes perfectly with modern red lipstick and a strand of large pearls, a la Coco. For classic red lips check out Sephora Plumping Lip Gloss in Red #5

7) Laura Bush (First Lady of the United States)- Hilary and Nancy should take a lesson from our chic first lady. She looks fab in her cowl necked red skirt suit. The neck is a little daring, but the hot red color is a classic. Well done!

8) Barak Obama (D- Senator, Illinois)- You won't find Mr Obama and Mr Bush in agreement on many things, but they must share a stylist, because their look tonight is rather similiar. A darker navy for a more classic, and ironically conservative, look for Barak Obama, paired with the classic white shirt/french blue tie combo.

It has barely been winter here in NYC, but I am already dreaming of spring. I walked past Tompkins Square Park yesterday, and there were confused croci, who, in the weird warmth had begun to bloom. Now they sat suspended in the frost. Like them, my mind is a mess, and while I am still cozy in my winter coat, I pass delicious shop windows filled with signs of spring.

In a stroll on the Lower East Side, the shop, Shop, was filled with frilly lacy things, and I imagined myself lounging around, anguished in the heat. TG-170 is starting to tempt with lovely springy dresses. Sadly their website is about a season behind. Here are some spring frocks to get you dreaming.

I love me this J.Crew shirt dress. It is the perfect change of seasons look. Rather then screaming "SUMMER", it murmers "Yes, I do believe it is time for Spring". When that first nice slightly warm day arrives late in March, this is what you reach for.

This Susan Monaco wrap dress is so simple, it won't insult your intellegence with a lot of bells and whistles. It asks you to do with it what you will, all while flattering your stuck in the winter figure.

Float like a butterfly in this LaROCK dress. I'd probably pair it with some capri length leggings, and those amazing flats I bought on sale in the fall and never wore.

You may begin to notice I am veering off topic yet again today. But I am charmed by the discovery that New York Times Science Times section is not only educational, it is entertaining. Recently I have been disappointed in Dining, sarcastic at Styles, and appalled by Escapes. But today something interesting happened. I looked forward to reading the Science section.

And I was not let down! I learned that most people engage in some sort of "magical thinking" (which is a great turn of phrase!) I read about assisted migration, and became depressed about the state of wildlife on our planet, due to the effects of global warming. An essay by Natalie Angier, about time was charming. I have always been obsessed with time; in the seventh grade I actually did an oral report about it.

Most fascinating to me was an article about tapping the energy of heat buried in granite, a new and very common resource. It was so interesting, in fact, that I stopped reading it, and rushed over here, to write about it! And even better, I have articles about male contraception, finding color in space, and amnesia to look forward to. So much to read, so little time...

Tuesday is such a dull day, lacking the joie de vivre of Thursday, and the desolation of Monday. I am thrilled now to have something to look forward to! (It's the small things!)

Since this is MY blog, and no one can tell me what to do or say on it, I have chosen today to write about something that has absolutely nothing to do with beauty, fashion, or shopping. I, instead, and going to write a little about another passion of mine: TV.

In today's New York Times, there is an article saying that Aaron Sorkin and NBC are refocusing Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip as a romantic comedy. They hope that by making it more romantic their initial large audience will return to the show, which many believed had become "smug' and "arrogant" to use Mr Sorkin's words. Fine, fine, fine. I hope it works. But here is why it may not.

Mr Sorkin, in defending his show, went on to say: “In the end it’s a TV show that they’re doing,” Mr. Sorkin said of his characters. “Doing a TV show is something I take seriously, and it’s something everybody here takes very seriously. But it’s something that the average person who, for lack of a better word, works a real job, resents slightly because it doesn’t seem like a real job.”

I predict that the show will fail. And that paragraph is why. The problem with the show is not that the average person resents the people who make television because it doesn't seem like a real job, because, frankly, I am sure the average person gives it very little thought. The problem with the show is that making television is just that, a real job, and thus not that interesting. Making TV is just a nice backdrop for doing all the boring stuff people do at all real jobs- have meetings, coordinate things, etc. The zany antics of the Studio 60 comedy troupe during downtime, I am fairly sure, bear relatively little similiarity to the hard work the actual cast members of Saturday Night Live do all week.

The problem of the show is that Aaron Sorkin BELIEVES that people with "real jobs" resent TV people. But I think you can get those real people to care about just about anything, as long as there are good characters with true stakes. The world of magazines in Ugly Betty is a cream puff fantasy, but no one seems to resent that show. So why does it work? We care about Betty, because she is endearing, flawed, with everything to gain and lose. Even though she exists in a dream, she is relatable. Her challenge is to suceed in a world arrayed against her, while remaining true to herself.

Another great show, that deserves to be a hit, is Friday Night Lights. Each game feels like life or death for those kids. And as characters a lot hangs on their winning games. Matt Saracen, the young new quaterback, has a chance he never thought he would have. Stuck at home, taking care of his grandmother, football is a chance at life for him, and the opportunity he has terrifies him. Coach has his ego, his job, and morale of an entire town hanging on him. Watching the show, you get completely involved in this small town Texas world. But when you step back, it's just high school football. The magic is in making the average person care about it.

On Studio 60, you have two smart funny guys who have no stakes or obstacles. What happens if they fail? It is already established that they have other successful and more highly paying careers writing and directing films. So Danny's character (Bradley Whitford) has that drug thing, and can't shoot for eighteen months. So what? He just made a few million. That is hardly life and death. Its barely even dramatic.

The new network president who hired them, Jordan McDeere (Amanda Peet), has her job on the line, which should be a cause for tension. Except that she is a dream of an executive and never has a problem with anything they do. She fights for them, and they all win. Even Steven Weber, who is great as the nasty head of the network, comes around to their side. And when he works against them, he is all bark and no bite. Matt and Danny never take him seriously as a threat.

The reason The West Wing worked so well was that the decisions of that group of people did affect the world. But they were just people, and the stress they felt having to make those decisions was real. Personal victories and losses worked on two levels on that show; they affected the character, and the country. On Studio 60 the characters act like they are on The West Wing: we keep hearing that what they do will have a huge impact on pop culture and America. We the viewers don't really care about that, because it is false. I think SNL barely registers on peoples brains anymore (with the exception of JT's Dick in a Box, and Jake's Dreamgirls but, but that is fleeting.) More people watch Studio 60 then SNL. But it doesn't matter. We, the viewers, just want some good characters who do things we can care about, and relate to. Please get good, because Matthew Perry is awesome.

Guess what? It is finally freaking cold here! I can't wait to go outside and freeze my nose off. If only it would snow, I would be perfectly happy. In the meantime, here are some scarves to keep your neck nice and toasty.

1) Hoodie Scarf- The evening star sets in the east, and yet I choose a mortal life, so I might devote myself to you Aragon, son of Arathorn, heir to the crown of Gondor! And my scarf, look how cool, it's is also a hood! (If you don't get this one, don't worry. I am just a giant dork.)

2) Pringle of Scotland- When I was a kid we used to go to this really awesome department store in Hamilton, Bermuda, Triminghams. It was there that I got my first perfume, and my first Pringle scarf. Now I am desperately trying to track one down on the web, and having no luck. Nevermind They are gorgeous and thick, and you can get them at Bergdorfs. Here is something tartan and similiar from Balmoral. I think my point here is, go to the men's section at your local deparment store!

3)Thin Striped Washed Wool Scarf- Oh this one is nice. I can see myself, magically six inches taller, and ten pounds thinner, wearing this with a thin green jacket, my perfectly pointy elbows begining to poke holes in the sleeves. I am having a coffee at Cafe Gitane, and playing with the edges of my lovely scarf, as Jacques tells me a vapid story about sleeping with Ivanka. Oh look at the time! I must be off to a go-see, and then to meet Natasha at Cipriani Downtown for a negroni.

Usually I try not to talk about "celebs" here, but it's too much fun to have the opportunity to subject you to my opinions about the GG dresses. I wrote a lot of this last night, as I watched, so if I don't comment on something daring (like Chloe Sevigny's great vintage YSL) don't be mad.

My #1 rule for dressing for awards- Ladies- DON'T WEAR WHITE. It is not flattering, and it makes you look like a mad bride. And yet, so many of you chose to wear it. I think Jennifer Garner's dress kind of worked. And Forest Whitaker's wife looked really stunning. And that's it. Offenders include:
wearing white-
Kate Winslet
Ali Larter
Ellen Pompeo
Terry Hatcher
Salma Hayek
Nicolette Sheridan

Also- Did anyone else notice the preponderance of very dark nail polish? And hair worn down?

My Favorites

Jennifer Hudson- It can't be easy to be anything larger then a size 6 in Hollywood. Yet Jennifer Hudson looks gorgeous. This dress is really flattering; it is draped perfectly. It not only hides flaws (upper arms perhaps?) but manages to be sexy too (nice cleavage.) Well done. And her hair and makeup are flawless.

Helen Mirren- It is a relief to see a woman in her sixties looking so natural, so elegant, and so sexy. What a wonderful color blue that dress is, and how well it goes with her fantastic silver hair and her lovely blue eyes. Donna Karan Haute Couture.

Hilary Swank- Usually I am not a huge fan of the Swank, but I will give her credit. She does take risks. This dress pays off beautifully. Its a real throw back 40's glam kind of thing, but the tattered, sheared bottom modernizes it. And the amazing jeweled flower in her hair is a lesson in how to wear diamonds. Chanel Haute Couture.

Cate Blanchett- Great and good. It looks like she threw this on, tousled her hair and got in the car. This dress would wear most women, but she is defintely wearing it, and looking very glowing and comfortable. Alexander McQueen.

My Not-So-Favorites

Salma Hayek- It pains me to say this, because I am such a huge fan. She is curvy, and that's great, but sometimes the best way to emphasize those lovely round bits is to wear less, not more. This dress clings in all the wrong places, and overwhelms her tiny but meaty frame. Chop off the sleeves, unravel the odd drape, and dye the thing red or black. That's a dress! Dior.

Drew Barrymore- She looks like a piece of trident gum. Not only is the color weird, but it drapes strangely. Too bad, because her makeup is great. Maybe I just don't like Dior this year. Dior Haute Couture.

Jessica Biel- This dress makes me angry. She's got the bod, but why does she have to look like some sort of Arthurian stripper- all that chain mail! Even her earrings! The problem is, is that this dress is too old for her. Valentino

Other thoughts-

Emily Blunt- She has a nice figure, but the fishtail bottom is just not my thing. There is something bland about the whole ensemble. Vintage Herve Leger

Sarah Jessica Parker- I thought for a second it was Jennifer Aniston. Its a nice disco change from her usual girly thing, but then again I don't think it totally works. Perhaps too simple? L'Wren Scott.

Renee Zellweger- Almost great. My first impression is that it is vintage, which explains the wide hips (which you can't see here, sorry) and the odd length. Perhaps if it had been a tad bit shorter it would have been perfect. The color is lovely. I kind of wish her hair was down.

Cameron Diaz-Last night I really hated this, but today it is growing on me. The ruffles are a little much, but there is something fin de siecle Paris about it that is fun. I think it photographs better then it moves. When she came out, she looked like a walking cake. And the diamonds, which should add a little pleasant sparkle, instead emphasize her hands, which are weird.The red lips are great. Valentino.

Reese Witherspoon- The shape and length of the dress are perfect, and she is wearing it really well. But this color yellow is a little harsh. I like the diamond bracelet. Nina Ricci by Oliver Theyskens.

Beyonce Knowles- I almost put this in my Not-So category. She looks like she is wearing a costume. Beyonce never looks comfortable in the clothes they put her in. Let her wear something chic and elegant for once, instead of making her look like she is in drag. Eli Saab.

J.Lo- Not bad for J.Lo. I am just relieved she is not wearing a turban. Marchesa

This year both the Golden Globes, and The Oscars are banning the gift baskets that nominees, winners and presenters recieve as gifts. In the past the hoopla surrounding the baskets has been almost as intense as the scrutiny of what the actresses are wearing. The value of the goodies can reach up to 100,000 dollars, and often includes free vacations, dinners, jewelry, and of course lots of clothes and beauty products.
I admire and agree with Ed Norton when he said ""... -- it makes us look ridiculous and out of touch. If these evenings are going to be a celebration of our craft and what we express about what's going on in the world, then picking through $35,000 gift baskets is disgusting and shameful."
But I am also going to miss hearing what was in them, and seething with jealousy! Past gifts have included trips to Tasmania, Frette cashmere travel blankets, and lots of makeup! Oh well. Here is my dream basket of goodies for when I am a movie star. Enjoy!

1) Sisley Paris All Day All Year Cream- I am a movie star, so my skin always looks great. No use taking chances though; the cream is so protective, that skin cells are free to focus on regenerating and healing. (Because, you know, skin cells have brains!) Also comes with a powerful SPF 8, to block that nasty LA sun. $330.

2) Re Vive Lip & Perioral Renewal Cream- Forget about collagen! Botox- who needs it? After two weeks of using this luxurious lip balm, people say the lines around their lips had faded. My lips will not be denied! $115.

3) Frederic Malle Editions de Parfum Carnal Flower- I'd want this in my basket because everyone talks about, and yet, I have never smelled it. This has made me covetous. If I were less obsessed, I would be easily satisfied with a gift certificate to Le Labo, where they would make me my own personal scent. Custom is the new black! $250.

4) Annick Goutal Creme Splendid Nuit- While I can have whatever I'd like, in my deluxe basket, I'd take this night cream. Sure, it's got vitamins galore, which I supposed are good for my skin, but it will also look great on my vanity. Packaging is everything! $80.

5) Lanvin Kansas Grain Leather Tote- Moving away from the goo's and unguents, into the real STUFF, I'd be pleased to come upon this great everyday bag. My assistant will be annoyed, because usually the bags are ugly, and I give them to her, but she gets good $$ for them on Ebay. This one I am keeping! $1865.

6) Derek Lam Clothilde leather clutch- This particular item sends me into a fury. Because since it is in my basket, it must be in everyone elses. This means I won't get away with telling all my movie star friends that my amazingly chic grandmother handed this down to me on her death bed, and it is in fact, the reason I don't speak to my mother. $990.

7) A trip to Wakaya in Figi- After all this excitement, I am going to need a beauty rest. I am grabbing my hot boyfriend, and going to this place. It seems nice. The rooms start at 1900/ night. But that includes food.

I know I have been a real bummer this week. So last night, in an effort to turn myself around, I gave myself a little at home facial. Here were my products.

1) Witch Hazel- After I got out of the shower, I wiped my skin down with some ordinary witch hazel. The Dickenson's is nice, because it doesn't have as much alcohol as a lot of the other brands. Many astringents contain alcohal and a load of other stuff that makes my skin really dry, but the witch hazel really works.

2) Dr Jeff's Gentle Peel Creme- No one has ever heard of this stuff, and it is basically impossible to find. But it is awesome! You smear it all over your face, and let it sit until it dries; about five minutes. Then, in small circular motions, you begin rubbing it off. It kind of crumbles away, taking all your nasty dead skin with it. When it's all gone, you rinse your face off with water, and it is SMOOTH, and SOFT! I love it! And there is basically no smell. EVERYTHING makes me break out, but not this stuff. Buy it now, while you can find it! It's not even expensive.

3) Moisturizer- I decided to go whole hog, and get out this really heavy night cream that I have. It is called Eminence Rich Black Perlette Grape Moisturizer, and it is thick. Really thick. Like paste. It took me a while to get used to, but now I like to use it a couple nights a week. It has lots of anti-oxidant rich grape derivatives in it, which must be what makes it smell like second grade.

The outcome of all my skincaring? Well, I woke up looking fresh and glowy. Hopefully my insides will catch up with my outsides!

This week has just been the pits. I am looking for a new job, and sending out resumes is just the most soul deadening thing. It's almost like looking at real estate: the line between what you want and what you can afford is frustrating. The one you want, is always just at your fingertips, out of reach.

I have been not much fun to be around. I know RC is being patient, but I need to get out of this mindset! So I decided today to make a list of things that make me really happy, whether they relate to fashion, beauty or not. Here goes:

1) A new manicure

2) The first ten minutes of a massage

3) My cat when she sits QUIETLY next to me while I write.

4) Getting a really unbelievable pair of shoes on sale. I have a pair of black suede YSL pumps, with teeny bows, that I got at a last call sale at Neiman's. They are so exquisite; if Nicole Kidman were a shoe she would be them.

5) Arrested Development, the TV show. If you haven't seen it, please go and get it now.

6) The way my apartment smells after my boyfriend gets out of the shower.

7) Landing at an airport. Especially on vacation.

8) Red lipstick. Even though I never wear it, I like to have it.

9) Guerlain tortoise shell compacts. Tres chic!

10) Shopping for fall clothes!

11) The smell of California on a sunny day after it rains.

12) The view of the Empire State Building from Tompkins Square Park at night

For the past year or so friends of mine have been dropping some subtle and some pointed remarks and suggestions about my bag. For example, imagine being in a shop and having a friend pick up a bag and saying to you in a cheerful and upbeat voice:
"Oh isn't this a great bag? You should TOTALLY get it."
Me: "Yeah it is cute. I SHOULD get it. Let me try it on."
Usually I then try it on, and the strap is too short, or there is some unecessary dingle or dangle, or the zipper is in just the wrong place. I, disappointed, sigh, and hold up the bag I have carried almost everyday for the past four years.
Once you have your perfect bag, it's hard, no, impossible to find a replacement. I am not one of those bag of the season girls, (though I wish I could afford to be,) throwing down a grand here and grand there for the hot new thing. No I am a thoughtful purchaser. I take my time, and don't rush it, and usually, eventually, over time, I find what I need.
The bag I am having trouble replacing now (and I agree with my friends, it needs a long nap) is a Miu Miu. It is brown with off white stitching, and a gold bit style clasp. It is the perfect size for the New Yorker, rolled up, and a bottle of water. More then that, and it is too full. One of the charming things about it, is that it is lined with a lovely brown satin, and it has a great little pocket inside. The straps are the perfect size- the go perfectly over my shoulder without pinching my armpit (I can't stang bags with short hard straps- who actually CARRIES a purse, as oppose to slinging it over a shoulder?). When I bought it, it was the most expensive thing I had ever bought. And it probably still is, though it has more then earned its keep.
Recently, when I was in California for a weekend, RC and I went to some outlets, and I was tempted by another bag; it was the closest to actually investing in a new bag since the Miu. This was an eggplant Tod's. It was lady like and grown up, and had lots of little compartments. The straps were a bit snug, but the main pocket was a great size, and overall it would have been a nice change. Also the fact that it had been marked down from the thousands to the low middle hundreds didn't hurt.
But it wasn't perfect. It would have looked weird with my green winter coat. And it was maybe too ladylike for the likes of me, who dumps things on the ground hither and thither.
And so the vigil continues. I got started on this little rant by a picture of a Chloe bag in a Neiman's banner ad on the New York Times homepage! Please forgive my preciousness- I just felt like sharing.
PS- the pictured bag is kind of like the Tod's one I liked.

I've got a bad case of the mean reds. If you don't know what they are, gentle reader, I'll allow Holly Golightly to explain:
Holly: Listen...you know those days when you get the mean reds?
Fred/Paul: The mean reds? You mean like the blues?"
Holly: No... the blues are because you're getting fat or because it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Well I do. The mean reds creep up on me, like a case of poison ivy. At first I'm only itching at a small thing, like a toe, or the fact that my cell phone will not charge and cingular won't give me a new one. And then slowly, over a few days, it begins to reach into every part of my life. A trip to the bank becomes the basis for a near nervous breakdown. A joke made a friend or relative becomes a slight of Capulet and Montague proportions. When the reds meet their full potential, it's like I'm standing on the edge of a void, with no recourse or remedy. The world is arrayed against me.

There are only two things for it. One is to go back to bed for the rest of the day. Tempting, but sadly that often makes it worse, in that not only am I low, but also I haven't gotten anything done. The other solution is to take a bath. It helps. It is not a cure all, but the only thing that really cures the mean reds is a change of outlook. And that takes action. So consider this it. Here are my favorite bath bubbles, oils, etc.

1) Neals Yard Remedies Aromatic Bath: I am sure I have mentioned this one before, because it is one of my favorite products of all time. It smells like heaven. Or maybe just Provence on a June day, because it is filled with very high quality lavender oil and extract. But isn't that a kind of heaven? Besides, the Mean Reds don't speak french!

2) Kiehl's- When I run out of my Neal's, I blend a few squirts of Kiehl's Kiehl's Mineral Muscle Soak Foaming-Relaxing Bathwith a few squirts of Coriander Bath and Shower Liquid Body Cleanser. It makes my skin soft and I smell so good I forget to be red!


3) Lush's Cerwiden Bath Melt- A caveat before I continue: going into an actual Lush store would probably make my mean reds meaner. They are overwhelmingly fragrant and sticky places. So do yourself a favor and order this one online. You'll be happy you did, because the melt is full of sandelwood, cocoa butter and rose, and it smells the most exotic vacation. This must be what Bali or Tahiti smells like. I am lulled into believing that my life is full of wonderful things, like future vacations to unknown lands, and at the last, I have hope; the best cure for the reds!

A few years ago I treated myself to a massage and a wax at Bliss. I had never been there before, and despite having heard mixed things about it, I wanted to give it a try. I showed up the customary ten minutes early at the location on Prince Street. The spa was less luxurious then I had imagined, but they were expanding at the time and under construction, and much was hidden by curtains. It didn't matter. I would soon be relaxing in a dark warm fragrant room.
My therapist came to show me in. We chatted amicably, and she said "Undress, get on the table and I'll be back in a few." The treatment table in front of me was made tightly with white sheets; it seemed like someone worked hard to get it to look so nice, and I wasn't sure whether I should get under them or not. I didn't want to ruin anything. All the therapist had told me to do was get undressed and get on the table. And so I did. If I was wrong, she would guide me.
I lay there, in all my glory, trying to be modest and not seem uncomfortable, waiting for her to come back. After either a millenium, or five minutes, she entered. And upon seeing my naked self arrayed before her, she yelped.
"Oh! My!" She said, as though we were in a convent, and seeing a naked woman was the last thing she had expected upon entering the room.
She quickly turned away and told me to get under the covers. I was mortified. I would have been much happier tucked in to begin with, if only I had known! Now she thought I was a steaking freak, and I was as embarrassed as I had ever been. Let's just say it was not the most comforatble massage, even though she had a lovely touch. The worst part was at the end, when she half heartedly tried to make a repeat customer out of me. I know it was her professional duty, but her heart wasn't in it.